battle of the sexes

:: LEAST I COULD DO FORUM ::: battle of the sexes - :: LEAST I COULD DO FORUM ::

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#1 Claire Tigre

unofficial IRC flirt, belongs to Mihira

Group: Members
Posts: 1,508
Joined: 13-February 06
Gender:Female
Location:Mihira's lap.
Interests:theatre, double entendres, theatre, my husband, rpgs, and did i mention theatre?

Posted 16 October 2009 - 02:02 PM

HOW TO
SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned

laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long robe.

If you see husband along the way,

cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --

make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use wash cloth, long loofah,

wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo

with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for

10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut

and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Rinse off.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A
MAN:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed

and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her

making the woo-woo sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.

Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was

hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor,
light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her

and make the woo-woo sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

I want to be Ugly

QUOTE (Brina)

I am not afraid of the dark, but the things that lurk in shadows terrify me.

The first Dungeons & Dragons card deck came to be when little Tommy Schmit found Vin Diesels misplaced photo album, "Things I Shouldn't Have Had Sex With in the Middle Ages."

Claire's Pokemon Trainer Card

QUOTE (Dark Knightmare)

As to FF7 i just don't get the appeal of emo boys with big swords whining every five minutes

please click, and vote!

#2 Maira

Group: Members
Posts: 73
Joined: 13-August 09
Gender:Female
Location:Tortoise. More specifically, Great A'Tuin.
Interests:Books. And this. And LFG. And World of Warcraft. And writing.

Posted 18 October 2009 - 11:06 AM

So glad to be female. And single.

Can I say I'll try anything once if I refuse to eat okra?
Don't annoy me. I can swear in five different languages.
Oh, ibuprofen. Let me count the ways I love thee...
My nightmares wake me up at night. They say I snore too loudly.

#3 KattenyaJen

The Once Epic, Now Ordinary Chested

Group: Members
Posts: 1,806
Joined: 30-January 08
Gender:Female
Location:Edmonton, Alberta
Interests:I'm Crazy?

Posted 18 October 2009 - 01:23 PM

I have nowhere near the patience to do all that! lol

This Calamity is Never Under Control....

....And Strangely, That's Alright.

#4 Maelgwyn

100% hippie without the drugs

Group: Members
Posts: 2,427
Joined: 25-October 06
Gender:Male
Location:Gatton, Queensland, Australia
Interests:Heh, stuff. But more specifically, work, art, humour, sleep, cheese, Lar worshipping. Theres so much more, but I am incredibly lazy and I cant really be bothered finishing it. Lets just say lots of stuff

Posted 18 October 2009 - 04:59 PM

Not quite true - I throw all teh clothes off in the bathroom (and leave em on the floor)

And this partial dry? Hell no - grab towel and dry off outside the bathroom. I get in trouble for wet footprints everywhere

(and I dont make mohawk cause its impossible with really short hair

)

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