Shampoo: not a good lube?

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#1 yoshida

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Posted 23 September 2009 - 06:28 AM

I'll try and explain this in as much PG terms as I can, surely some of you may have an opinion on this subject.
One of my mates told me something that made me laugh and go 'ew' at the same time. In fact they were struggling for priority so long that I could only manage to twist my face into an expression of disbelief.

He was talking about one girl he met the other night, she wanted to get really freaky and I mean probably as twisted as any girl you'll meet.
Anyway, he ended up being talked into going Anal. As he didn't have lube within hand's reach, they decided upon using shampoo. OK that's the gross part over with.

Now this girl complains about feeling kind of ill and out of shape lately, and the suspicion is that certain components of the shampoo entered the bloodstream. I think we need to bring in the Sexbusters once more; does anyone have a suspicion whether this could be comfirmed or busted? My mate is kind of

and I'm kind of curious to know whether he f00ked up

This post has been edited by yoshida: 23 September 2009 - 06:30 AM

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#2 smarmyprince

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Posted 23 September 2009 - 07:33 AM

I'd go with confirmed, she's not lying. Your body can absorb stuff that's inside (I mean, that's the purpose of the intestines) although I'm not sure that close to an exit. Pending on how much you can absorb at that point, it's the equivalent of eating a small bit of shampoo.

Anyway, shampoos and soaps are for external use only. Not to mention they sting a lot if you get them in any orifice with a sensitive inner lining (eyes, nose).

But the feelings of ickiness shouldn't last too long (for her anyway.)

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#3 yoshida

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Posted 23 September 2009 - 08:01 AM

QUOTE (smarmyprince @ Sep 23 2009, 02:33 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That's what I thought too. Apparently she's now having occasional drowsy spells, loss of apetite, flatulence and she even claims to taste it. Though several symptons may have other results... *shudders*

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#4 Toreshi

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Posted 23 September 2009 - 08:19 AM

Lord almighty. >.<

Yeah, I'd definitely go with confirmed. For the same reason that soap/shampoo isn't supposed to be swallowed, it should not be forced into any orifice in the body. Besides the fact that it's SOAP and is probably irritating the hell out of her...insides...lord knows what kind of chemicals were in it that are now working their way through her body. Tell the stupid little bint to get to a doctor.

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#5 yoshida

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Posted 23 September 2009 - 08:41 AM

Quick Google search:

http://answers.yahoo...05162029AAc51XO

Sooo... she'll probably be fine eventually. I'm pretty convinced she did worse to herself doing... other stupid stuff.
Else it was her idea to begin with, if anything bad didn't happen by now then it's not going to happen (has been two or three weeks, didn't ask for details if you know what I mean)

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#6 J_A_X

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Posted 23 September 2009 - 10:16 AM

Wow, shampoo as lube for anal...yowza. How she even went through it completely without fissure is beyond me.

You should tell this nympho to always pack lube

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#7 Orelinde

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Posted 23 September 2009 - 10:32 AM

Geez! What's next; butter?

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#8 wammalammadingdong

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Posted 23 September 2009 - 10:34 AM

QUOTE (smarmyprince @ Sep 23 2009, 07:33 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'd go with confirmed, she's not lying. Your body can absorb stuff that's inside (I mean, that's the purpose of the intestines) although I'm not sure that close to an exit. Pending on how much you can absorb at that point, it's the equivalent of eating a small bit of shampoo.

Anyway, shampoos and soaps are for external use only. Not to mention they sting a lot if you get them in any orifice with a sensitive inner lining (eyes, nose).

But the feelings of ickiness shouldn't last too long (for her anyway.)

yeah, that would include "private" areas. hurts like a bitch when girls get soap... up there >.>

I don't know how she got through it. it must have stung like crazy. unless she liked it -.-

*shudders* never ever in a million years would I do anything like that.

and I agree with Tore, she should go to a doctor, even though she will probably be fine soon since nothing really bad has happened yet.

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#9 Glix

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Posted 23 September 2009 - 11:01 AM

The shampoo going in to your blood stream is the least of your worries. If I remember correctly, shampoo happens to be rather effective at removing any and all moisture from your flesh if you leave it on for ages. So.. they're lucky they didnt start a friction fire.

#10 TinyDancer

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Posted 23 September 2009 - 11:12 AM

Conditioner would have worked better, and been more moisturizing.

Gross. Seriously though, what everyone else has said. Shampoo flippin' burns, and it's not made to be absorbed by your body, so she'll probably feel pretty icky while her organs try to figure out what the hell to do with it.

Fist pounding on a vending machine,
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and I know I'm gonna steal her eye.

QUOTE(Sperm Whale @ Jul 3 2008, 12:05 PM)

QUOTE(TinyDancer @ Jul 3 2008, 01:09 PM)

I'm not too fond of molestation,

Damn...guess I'll cancel that flight reservation

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#11 Hailsky

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Posted 23 September 2009 - 11:13 AM

QUOTE (Orelinde @ Sep 23 2009, 11:32 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Geez! What's next; butter?

Actually, lard use to be the most common lubricant for gay males before the horriffic outbreak of AIDS. It was so popular because it worked so well as a lube but was also edible. But because it is not water based it can break condoms and so that's why it's not all that popular anymore.

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#12 TinyDancer

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Posted 23 September 2009 - 11:18 AM

I found this site while researching the topic: http://www.ooze.com/ooze13/lube.html. It's about lube for self-love, and has some hilariously useful information.

This post has been edited by TinyDancer: 23 September 2009 - 11:18 AM

Fist pounding on a vending machine,
toy diamond ring stuck on her finger
and I know I'm gonna steal her eye.

QUOTE(Sperm Whale @ Jul 3 2008, 12:05 PM)

QUOTE(TinyDancer @ Jul 3 2008, 01:09 PM)

I'm not too fond of molestation,

Damn...guess I'll cancel that flight reservation

Anybody want to buy an unused trench coat?

#13 yoshida

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Posted 23 September 2009 - 11:42 AM

Hey thanks.
None of the results I've found online and in this topic tells me it's hazardous. Probably using a moisturiser the next time they try this thing may not only work better, but also solve an issue or two...

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#14 dreamchaser

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Posted 23 September 2009 - 12:09 PM

Moisturizer? Goddamn it people, invest in some freaking lube!

Some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.

#15 Toreshi

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Posted 23 September 2009 - 01:00 PM

QUOTE (dreamchaser @ Sep 23 2009, 02:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Moisturizer? Goddamn it people, invest in some freaking lube!

What she said.

Geez, it's not like lube is expensive or anything! Is this about the embarrassment of buying it or something? Because personally I'd be more embarrassed by the doctor's visit afterward. >.>

#16 gylbert

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Posted 23 September 2009 - 02:01 PM

I read somewhere that sodium laureth sulfate, the typical detergent in shampoo, is also quite handy when used to pressure-spray oil and other automotive fluids off the floors of garages, due to its chemical and abrasive properties

In other words, it's not the sort of thing I want to have in close and vigorous contact with my pink parts

I bet this girl will be fine. Not so sure on whether she'll have learned any sort of lesson from the experience

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#17 DIV

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Posted 23 September 2009 - 02:21 PM

QUOTE (Hailsky @ Sep 23 2009, 12:13 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

QUOTE (Orelinde @ Sep 23 2009, 11:32 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Geez! What's next; butter?

Least successful attempt to make something appetizing in history.

...Fuckin DIV.

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#18 Maelgwyn

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Posted 23 September 2009 - 04:52 PM

Tell him next time to grab the canola oil over the shampoo...

Though lube is what... 3 dollars? Geez.. and they sell it at servos for flips sake.

Meanwhile, I found its great for other things too - such as o ring replacement (I laughed too but its staying there)

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#19 Toreshi

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 05:52 AM

QUOTE (Maelgwyn @ Sep 23 2009, 06:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

#1. The most expensive lube I ever bought (don't judge meeee!!!! lol) was, like, $18 and it was one of those specialty ones where there's a bottle for him and a bottle for her and they're supposed to create this amazing reaction together (p.s. they didn't). The cheapest I ever got was about $5 and lasted quite a long time as you only needed a drop of it.

#2. I have also found other amusing uses for lube. When J and I bought our chin-up bar, it came disassembled and you needed to slide the rubber grip things on the poles. Well they were difficult as hell and we didn't have any oil, so I lubed the thing up. J nearly pissed himself laughing, watching me rub Astroglide all over the metal poles.

#20 Toimisk

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Posted 24 September 2009 - 09:57 AM

QUOTE (Toreshi @ Sep 24 2009, 11:52 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

#2. I have also found other amusing uses for lube. When J and I bought our chin-up bar, it came disassembled and you needed to slide the rubber grip things on the poles. Well they were difficult as hell and we didn't have any oil, so I lubed the thing up. J nearly pissed himself laughing, watching me rub Astroglide all over the metal poles.

I just got an image of a guy jumping up to grab the bar, only to comically slip off and faceplant

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