The Priest joke - :: LEAST I COULD DO FORUM ::

*Start time of writing this joke: 1140AM*

So a man's driving down a country road. It's fall, so it's a little cool outside right now. Suddenly, his car breaks down, and forces the vehicle off to the side of the road. He called for a tow-truck to come pick him up, but they wouldn't be able to get someone out his way until morning.

The man, starting to feel the coldness in the air, made his way over to a rather large country house. He walked up to the door and gave it a good couple knocks. Little time passed before the door was opened. An older male stood inside the door way, fully decked out in religious garb and clothing. A little confused by the look of the man, but didn't really want to get into asking why he was dressed, the first man asked the prised if he could spend the night. He explained that his Car broke down and a tow truck wouldn't be able to get to him till morning. The Priest nodded some and opened the door fully to let the man in.

The Priest led the male upstairs to the attic. It was still a little cool, but there was a bed with a few blankets on it. The man thanked the priest and proceeded to go to bed.

A couple of hours passed and the man was woken up by three very loud thuds. Loud enough to startle him from a deep slumber. The man didn't think twice about it and went back to sleep.

Morning came around, and the man got up and headed down stairs. He saw the priest and asked him about the loud banging from the night before. The Priest shook his head and only responded with "I can't tell you, you're not a priest..." The male, a little unimpressed, thanked the priest once more and headed down to his vehicle, waiting for the Tow Truck to come pick him and his car up.

A few years had passed and the male went back to the Priest's house. He knocked on the door a couple times, to be greeted by the same Priest that he met years ago. The male made his greetings and salutations, sparking the memory of the Priest. The male said to the Priest that he too was now a man of the cloth, and still wanted to know what that thumping was a few years ago. The Priest stated that since the man seemed fully devout to the faith, let the man and and then to the basement.

In the basement, there was a rather large, bronze plated door. The priest led the man to the door and handed him a bronze plated key and told the male that the reasoning behind the thumping is through that door. The male took the key and opened up the door and walked through.

Suddenly, he was in a rather large forest, on a well beaten path. It was almost a complete replica of the Garden of Eden from the bible. The man shook his head to get out of the daze of awe and proceeded down the path. Making his way, he walked past a band that was in the middle of playing a Celtic tune. The path then led to a rose bush that was on either side of the trail, and then finally to a silver plated door.

Confused, the man tried opening the door with the bronze key, but the door didn't budge. So the man went back down the path, through the bush, past the band, and back to the priest. He told the Priest of the silver door, to which the Priest nodded and handed the man a silver plated key.

The man turned around and headed back down the path, past the band, and through the bush to the silver door. He put the key in and opened up the door to something completely different than the garden his was in.

It was a small street, lit up by lanterns on either side of the road. There were a few couples here and there as he walked down the nighttime boulevard, only to be stopped by a gold plated door. Figuring that the two keys that he already had wouldn't open the door, he gave it a shot anyways. Neither key opened the door. So the male turned around and head back down the road, through the bush, past the band and down the path to the priest once more, asking for the gold key.

*Lunch break @ 1210P*
*Resumed @ 1234P*

The Priest handed over the gold key, and the man, once more, went on his way. Traversing down the path, past the band, through the bush, and down the boulevard, he approached the gold door, promptly opened up the door and stepped through.

He was now standing inside what looked like the inside of the old navy ships. Steel walls and latched down doors, the man made his way to what looked like a two-hundred step set of stairs, at the top were a couple of wooden benches. He took this time to take a short rest from all the back and forth he was doing. Ten minutes passed and the man resumed his journey, making his way down the stairs.

Finally getting to the bottom, he walk for about 20 minutes before getting to another set of stairs. A little less than impressed, the man made his way up the stairs. Once reaching the top, he started cursing a little as he made his way to now what seemed to be a Platinum plated door with yet another keyhole that he didn't have the key for. He turned right around and headed back down the stairs, and went into a full run up the stairs. He guessed that the slight ping of anger is making him do a full run now, so he wasn't going to stop it.

Bolting back down the hallway, down the street, through the bush, past the band, and onto the path, he finally reached the priest, breathing quite heavily "Okay... platinum door... Key" the man asked, and the priest nodded, handing the key over. The man took the key and asked the priest if there were any more doors that needed keys, seeing as this was a recurring theme. The priest shook his head, so the man went one his way once more.

Down the path, past the band, through the bush, down the boulevard, through the hallway, down and up the stairs, the man put the platinum key into the door, opening it up and stepping through quickly.

Inside, it was just a room. Hardwood floor, beige walls and ceiling with only one light. On the other side of the room, there was another door. But it was a combination lock door. Cursing much more loudly and violently, the man turned around and headed back the way he came. He stopped at the top of the first set of stairs and went over to a bench that was there. He brought off two legs of the bench, and used it as a sled to go down the stairs. He carried the make-shift sled back up the stairs, tossing it off to the side, and proceeded back on his journey down the hallway, down the street, through the bush, past the band and onto the pathway, back to the priest.

"Alright. I asked for that last one. What's the combination, and are there ANY more doors? Any at all? Key lock, combination, I don't care..." the man asked the priest. The Priest shook his head and told the man the combination. The man repeated it over and over in his head a couple times, trying to commit the combination numbers to memory, but he couldn't. So he wrote down the numbers onto the back of his hand.

The man finally started on what seemed to be the last time he had to do the pathway, so he took his time. He headed down the path, past the band (stalling there a bit to listen to the music that he had been ignoring all this time), through the bush, down the street (admiring the night sky and all it's splendor), through the hallway, using the sled again down the stairs and then finally up a set of stairs to the combination door. He entered in the numbers on the dial and pulled the door open slowly.

Now I'm sure you're wondering what he saw, but unfortunately, I can not tell you.

You're not a priest yet.

*Finish time 112P*

Or, so that no one else has to follow the link to the spammy person's ste:

QUOTE

Twelve priests and the naked dancer

Twelve priests were about to be ordained.

The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy and beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.

Each priest had a small bell attached to his penis and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest (Carlos).

As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off and fell clattering to the ground.

Embarrassed, Carlos took a few steps forward, and bent over to pick it up.

Then, all the other bells started to ring