[sohmer]

It’s no secret that web anonymity breeds a high level of douche-baggery. Why bother with outdated concepts such as respect, open mindedness and base decency when no one knows who you are?

Why, indeed, when it so easy to set up a new forum account or a blog and write things which you would never say aloud? Why?

Because of the illusion that your actions, your words are completely consequence free. I say illusion because it is just that, an illusion, it’s false. There are always consequences to our actions, though it may not be ourselves who suffer them.

More than a punch to the head, words do hurt. What you write laughing in your bedroom at 4am about another human being can deeply wound that person.

When a time comes that I find myself writing about another person, I always ask myself a simple question: Would I say that to his/her face? If the answer is yes, I hit publish. If the answer is no, I delete.

I wish I could institute this policy to the web as a whole, but I simply don’t have that reach. My hope is that some of you at least will take these words to heart, and like our mother’s taught us to think before we talk, please think before you type.

The reason I bring this up is because I’ve been following the recent dust up between Perez Hilton (who I consider to be complete trash) and Will.I.Am. If you haven’t heard about it yet, do yourself a favor and try and ignore it, it will make you feel just a little bit worse about humanity.

Still, it did make me think.

Violence is not an answer to any question, it is not a solution to any problem. I would also say the same about what Hilton does for a ‘living’. Dozens of times per day, he goes on record to millions of loyal readers and bashes, makes fun of and judges people in the media’s eye. It’s a deplorable thing he does, and thus far, he’s never faced any consequences for his actions. Until now, until he was punched in the head.

Hilton isn’t a victim, he was held accountable.

Should he have been punched? No. But he wasn’t blameless.

How would you have reacted if someone said to your face what Hilton says about others on a daily basis, either about you, a family member or a friend?

Hilton shouldn’t have been attacked, that is wrong. People should stop supporting what he does, that is also wrong.

While the media will no doubt be talking about this for the next few weeks, I honestly hope that people will realize this incident can be applied to the vast majority of the internet using community. And that maybe, we can learn from it.

It’s easy to do the right thing when everyone is looking, but how about doing the right thing when you’re alone at your computer?

- Because I can.

Quote of the Day

“You could have bowed out gracefully
But you didn’t
You knew enough to know to leave well enough alone
But you wouldn’t “
-Everyday, by Rascal Flatts

[Mad Madeline]

Hear, hear! Thanks for writing what so many of us are already thinking.

[Malcontent]

I do agree in large part with what you're saying, and I won't go rehashing it or amplifying it. But I will say there is a flip side to this: A fair number of people are whiny bitches, and that's no good, either.

I'm not in any way, shape or form condoning the likes of that Hilton dork. He IS trash, on many levels.

But at the same time it doesn't do a whole lot of good for people to get all up in arms and offended and crying over trash-talk. You get these people who just collapse into tears because they perceive that "someone was mean" to them. Whether true or not. And then they roll over and, for all intents and purposes, die. OR they tie up the courts with cases based on "emotional distress" or whatever they're calling it these days.

It's just not good to get tied up in such crap.

What I'm trying to say is, while it's not okay to be an asshole, neither is it okay for people to be pussies. There needs to be a happy medium.



EDIT: Just read that Hilton has filed suit for battery and "emotional distress". Hoo boy. Case in freakin' point. Dude can dish shit out but he sure can't take it. And yes, I'd say a whole lot of things to his face. But his response does make sense based on the emotional age inherent in his usual activities...

This post has been edited by Malcontent: 24 June 2009 - 03:01 PM

[deeznuts33442]

You pretty much said everything I was thinking on this subject

(I would say all of this to his face..) Perez Hilton is an attention whore ("Hey, everybody, look at me!!!") who only cares about getting more publicity for himself at the expense of others. He's a one-trick pony whose trick consists of mocking/provoking people with such tactics as using MSPaint to draw penises on their foreheads, a schtick that gets old after about 5 minutes. The only thing that surprised me about all of this is that he hasn't gotten his ass kicked sooner. I don't condone violence as an answer, but there's no way he should expect to get away with saying the things he says without consequence.

[kimsballs]

Gotta Love internet bullies, how about that woman who belittled, and berated her daughter's "friend" until she comitted suicide. http://tinyurl.com/38egks

This post has been edited by kimsballs: 24 June 2009 - 03:19 PM

[Inujo]

: A fair number of people are whiny bitches, and that's no good, either.
What I'm trying to say is, while it's not okay to be an asshole, neither is it okay for people to be pussies.

All I can add to that great poetry is.. He's NEVER been HIT before??? EVER????? REALLY?? WOW... He must have lived his life in a bubble. I would have thought he would have had a regular beat down just for his mouth.
I wanted to hit him the first time I saw him whining about Hilton. California..is that on a different planet?

I'm a aging female and if he started screaming in my face he would find himself face down on the floor with my knee in his back and my shoe in his asp. I couldn't wait to hear him video blog about it.

Am I the only one that noticed the man accused of hitting him could be a double for Barney Fife (sp?)
"An-dee, you gotta nip it in the bud! Nip...it...in..the..bud!"

[BabyBear]

A freakin MEN

[Arkabzol]

Thanks for the advice, I will think of that the next time I'm about to send a message to someone that could be insulting. And that Perez Hilton and Will.I.Am thing, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't even know who Perez Hilton is and it seems like I should keep doing that.

[Green Monkey]

What frightens me about the anonymity of web commentary is what it reveals about us. With the comfort of anonymity, many of us are suddenly willing to express things that perhaps our Id would otherwise veto as acceptable for polite company, whether "to someone's face" or behind their back. It makes one wonder about what goes on in people's minds, sometimes

I maintain the hope that someday we will become more sensitive and nurtuing as a society. That someday we will seek to understand each other before attempting to influence each other. Amazingly, we lose nothing for the gesture, and gain so much.

At the same time, I am conflicted, as the skeptic in me is fueled and empowered by scandals such as the Hilton/Will.I.Am dust up (good way to put it) and the confusion surrounding S.C. Gov. Sanford (on TV as we speak).

But what is the solution? Is there a way to move us towards a more civilized approach to the anonymous internet? Would rules/regulations or watchdogs work, or is it in education? Other ideas?

~J

[kimsballs]

Gotta Love internet bullies, how about that woman who belittled, and berated her daughter's "friend" until she comitted suicide. http://tinyurl.com/38egks

[kimsballs]

Gotta Love internet bullies, how about that woman who belittled, and berated her daughter's "friend" until she comitted suicide. http://tinyurl.com/38egks

Ok, really sorry for the reposts, I just hit refresh. Didn't know it would do that.

[pithlit]

Good point, even though it should come natural to everyone...

The strangest thing about the whole perez/Will situation is that Perez asked for people to call 911 on Twitter.. I mean, why didn't he call 911 himself? Sounds a lot easier to me..

anyhow, I think we should not pay any attention to people like perez..

[DeepChaos]

Though I agree in most that's written here, there's still something I need to add.

The fact that, what is and what it's not an offense is just too much different for each person.

I wouldn't consider offensive to talk about a dead men, or saying to someone how childish he/she is, or pointing one's defects, or...

Etc.

My point is: Actually, most things we're thinking is considered "offensive" in someway or another so, where do I have to put the limits and where not?

[Zaeter]

This was ridiculous and he deserved the violence as he was clearly looking for it. Someone asks you, even if in a threatening voice to stop talking about you and saying things in a disrespectful manner and you go and attempt to escalate it. Perez had lots of opportunity to walk away even in his blog, what did he think would happen when he called Will.I.Am a faggot? He escalated the situation when Will.I.Am just wanted to not be trashed talked by someone via the internet, it is two very different things to have your alias mocked and trolled and simply be able to log off and for someone to trash your real self. Perez had no right to talk about him in a disrespectful manner over the internet or in real life. He deserved to get hit, because nothing anyone would have said would have stopped him. Violence is great in solving problems when the problem starter won't listen to anything short of it.

This post has been edited by Zaeter: 24 June 2009 - 06:00 PM

[Brolly]

For the most part (because I don't think anyone can honestly say they always do it while they're on a forum) when I type something on the internet, I'm more than willing to say the same thing to someone's face. So whether I'm very nice or extremely rude, you can bet I'd say the same thing if we were face to face with each other.
And I'd have to say that's how everyone should be.

I have to disagree with you for saying Perez or anyone else shouldn't be punched. Because let's face it, some people need a smack. Now that's not to say for any petty insult you should hit someone, because that's wrong. But if you come across someone that talks shit 24/7 (like Perez) there's really not a whole lot else you can do. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try talking to them first to come to a peaceful solution. I always think, no matter what the situation, you should try talking about the problem or finding another solution first. But I've met several people where talking just isn't an option - many times it's easy enough for me to walk away, and that's what I do - the ones I can't walk away from, I've hit. And you know what? After being smacked, they've ALWAYS smartened the fuck up.
Again, I think you should always try to come to a peaceful and non-violent resolution. But you have to face it, sometimes you're going to come across certain people where that just simply isn't an option.

[ManuForte]

I couldn't agree with you more Sohmer. My girlfriend is an avid Perez Hilton reader, and she showed me his video about this issue. She and i then watched Will I Am's video, and discussed the fact that what Will.I.Am did was completely understandable.

Thanks for saying it much better than i could.



-With a strong hand

[mdringle]

Very well said Sohmer. Until that incident I was actually a follower of Perez on Twitter because I felt what he had to say was interesting or entertaining. In my opinion he has now outed himself as a whiner and hack.

I do not condone violence, but he dishes out enough crap that it's okay if he gets some back.

Perez Hilton is what is wrong with the media. He has an extremely biased and slanted viewpoint. There is only one cause of his that I will continue to support and that is seeking equality for homosexuals. I really hope that more people 'speak' to him by not visiting his site and stop following him on Twitter.

[BaneShiver]

My Ex-Wife is all about what Perez Hilton writes. Personally I don't care much about celebrities and whats going on. Todays definition of celebrity is nothing to what it use to be. Now-a-days if you can make a lousy sex video in night vision, adopt a kid from across seas (even tho there are a ton of kids here in the U.S), or just make words rhyme to a simple 3-2-1 beat. You are labeled a celebrity. What happened to those that use to master their art and then try to expand and continue to expand to better themselves? I remember a time when a celebrity was both an entertainer and a role model. Sure there have been scandals and such since the dawn of time. But to go out on a limb and call this man a celebrity or so much as give him a time of day for being able to talk trash? Are you serious? Give me an old school hip-hop rival or famous young star OD'ing on their drug. Don't give me news about how this man got poetic justice, or how a beautiful singer gets popped in the face by her boyfriend and in the end is ok with it. I mean do we really want to teach our kids that this type of behavior is ok? I really hope not, cause then making your kids grow up to be anti-social teenagers would start to look like a good thing. And that makes me sad.

[MAR-ble]

There's really nothing more I can say or add to what you've already stated that would make it any more clear or correct.

I can only say that people in reality are sniveling cowards, the internet sort of offers them a way to be people with gigantic testicles which they can claim would crush beer cans just by waggling them in that general direction. Take out the internet and you've basically got a sniveling little rat behind it. Just from the side of, trying to seem like a big bad ass perspective.

Also, I don't hold much respect for people who follow a blogger like they were the reincarnation of Jesus or some other big religious deity, while you can agree with what you say till you turn blue in the face, there has to be a line drawn somewhere in the sand between understanding and hopeless obsession. I think the smack in the gob was more of a wake up call to all the world (or at least the internet world) that, as you said, we need to be accountable for our actions.

Just my two cents though (rimshot)

[Cerridwen]

Perez hilton who? Never heard of the person, but then, I don't read gossip, nor propagate it, nor pass it on. I don't read the rags, the mags or the news beyond basic happenings. As far as I'm concerned, actors are doing a job entertaining me in a movie/show. I am not paying for childish antics, they don't amuse me.

The reason my friends are my friends is because we speak openly and honestly and we can trust that whatever we say, in person or not, is what we would say in front of each other. Any one starts backstabbing the others, they are quickly ousted from our midst.

It's called maturity and trustworthiness...if you don't have that, you don't belong relating to others without the supervision I give my kids.

Love and blessings,