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Last Day on the Job

#1 User is offline   Knight Shadow Icon

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Posted 02 June 2009 - 08:03 AM

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee.

She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast, eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh squeezed orange juice.

When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."

He said, "Fuck him, give him a dollar."

The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."
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#2 User is offline   Cybercat Icon

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Posted 02 June 2009 - 08:32 AM

Haha, I love it.
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After all, you can't spell slaughter without laughter.

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#3 User is offline   Deadboy Icon

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Posted 02 June 2009 - 01:04 PM

rofl
thats great

i think i heard it as a blonde joke but very funny none the less. tongue.gif
“No. Free will,” she said. “You can’t change what has already happened. But you choose what to do next. Which means that you only cross over to the dark side if you choose to do it.”
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#4 User is offline   Lopt Icon

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Posted 02 June 2009 - 08:47 PM

That was hilarious on several levels.
Iambic pentameter is a lie.
Look, and you will discover irony.
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