[Graham]

A man decides he wants to hunt and kill a bear. He goes out and buys a brand new rifle and stocks up on various supplies needed for bear hunting.

He hunkers down in the woods and waits to spot a bear. Hours later, off in some brush, he finally spots a bear. He takes careful aim with a state-of-the-art scope and pulls the trigger. BANG! Bear drops off into the brush and out of sight.

The hunter runs to the brush, excited that he's bagged a bear his first trip out. He reaches the spot where the bear fell but the bear is nowhere to be found. As he's searching the underbrush, he feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around to find the bear standing behind him. "Excuse me sir, did you just shoot at me?" The man begins quivering and replies, "Uh... yeah... I'm sorry..." The bear scoffs and says, "You dumb son of a bitch. Drop your drawers and bend over that fallen log." With much hesitation the man drops his pants around his ankles and bends over the log while the bear proceeds to have his way with the man's backside.

A week later, the shamed man decides he's going to hunt down this bear and get his revenge. Again, he gathers his gear and heads out to the forest. He makes sure to find a good vantage point and sits in wait. Hours later he spots his bear off in the bushes. He takes careful aim, making sure he couldn't possibly miss, and pulls the trigger. The bear drops to the ground and out of sight. The man smiles to himself thinking he couldn't have possibly missed this time. He runs to the bushes to claim his prize and once more finds the bear missing. The hunter begins cursing and muttering under his breath when he feels a tap on his shoulder. "FUCK," the main prolaims. He turns around to find the bear standing behind him. "Hey, aren't you the guy from last week?" The man lowers his head and replied with, "Yes." The bear laughs and says "You have to be one of the dumbest mother fuckers on the face of the planet. Drop your pants and bend over that log there." Once again, the bear tears into the man's ass.

Another week passes. The hunter is furious that this bear has raped him twice. He decides that he won't rest until this bear's head is hanging on his wall. He goes out, aquires the best gun and ammo money can buy, and heads back to the forest. He eventually spots the bear, again off in some wild growing brush. He lines up his shot and fires the weapon multiple times. The bear drops out of sight and the man continues firing into the foliage just to be sure. He roars triumphantly knowing the bear couldn't possibly have escaped the barrage of bullets he had just fired. He runs to the brush and rumages around, once again coming up empty handed. The man shouts curses and throws his gun to the ground when he feels the tap on his shoulder once more. Mr. Hunter begins openly weeping and turns around to face his aggressor. He looks up to see an incredulous look upon the bears face while he's whipping out his bear-junk.

"You don't come here to hunt, do you?"

[Dracowrath]

AN excellent reworking of a very similar joke by Gilbertt Gottfried.

[Dasick]

so why did the hunter miss?

[Maelgwyn]

Well, it was so the bear could hit, if you know what I am saying

[suncrafter]

That was bearly funny.

[Deadboy]

apparently bear rape IS funny

[Dracowrath]

In the version I heared the hunter first used a shotgun, then a machine gun, then a cannon. And the bear doesnt speak, he just knocks the hunter to the ground and rapes his ass. But on the third time, before raping him, the bear goes "You dont come here just to hunt, do ya?"

[saffer's]

thats hilarious!!... bear rape! HA!

[RelicBeckwelf]