[Valdimer]

Here's one that cracked me up




You wanna play war?

I'll lay down on the ground and you can blow the f*ck out of me

[purple]

Let's play carnival games.

First one we'll try... Sit on my face and I'll try to guess your weight within five pounds. If I win you'll get a stuffed beaver.

(I just added the prize. I felt inspired.)

This post has been edited by purple: 18 April 2006 - 12:05 PM

[Truly]

1. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

2. That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.

3. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

4. I like every bone in your body especially mine.

5. How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?

6. Will you be my love buffet so I can lay you out on a table and take anything I want?

7. Why don't you sit on my face and let me eat my way to your heart?

8. Baby I'm like milk, I'll do your body good.

9. Is that a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.

10. Hey baby lets play army I'll lay down you can blow me up. OOOOOH REPOST!

11. If your left is thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas can I visit you in-between the holidays

12. If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

13. You're like a Pringles. Once I pop you, I can't stop you!

14. I want to kiss you passionately on the lips, and then move up to your belly-button.

15. Is it hot in here or is it just you?

16. If you were a car door I would slam you all night long

17. How about you sit on my lap and we'll straighten things out

18. If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together.

19. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

20. Can I have fries with that shake!

21. I've got the F, the C, and the K. All I need is U.

22. You're so sweet you're giving me a toothache.

23. Hey baby, can I tickle your belly button from the inside?

24. If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.

25. Hi, I'm new in town. Can I have directions to your house?

26. Pardon my is there a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants.

27. Do you know CPR because you take my breath away.

28. Your daddy must of been a drug dealer 'cause you're dope.

29. My face is leaving in 15 minutes...be on it!

30. I'd look good on you.

31. When does your centerfold come out.

32. So do ya wanna see something really swell?

33. I've seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?

34. I've got the hot dog and you got the buns.

35. Is your name Gillette? ...because you're the best a man can get.

36. Are we near the airport or is that just my heart taking off?

37. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I sure can make your bed rock.

38. You have nice legs. What time do they open?

39. Do you like Subway? How about my foot long?

40. Hey that dress looks nice. Can I talk you out of it.

41. Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd just love to tap that ass!

42. Are those pants from outer space? Cause that ass is out of this world.

43. You're like a championship bass, I don't know if I should mount you or eat you.

44. Is your dad a terrorist? Because your the bomb!

45. Are you a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you.

46. If I flip this coin, what are the chances of me getting head tonight?


(ok ok stolen from dave's daily )




and if you're in the mood for something musical, try wierd al Yankovic 's Wanna B Ur Lovr:


I don't have a library card
But do you mind if I check you out?
I like your skeletal structure, baby
You're an ectomorph, no doubt

Your face is real symmetrical
And your nostils are so nice
I wish that I was cross-eyed, girl
So I could see you twice

Girl, you smell like Fritos
That's why I'm giving you this hungry stare
You're so hot, you're gonna melt
The elastic in my underwear

I'll bet you're magically delicious
Like a bowl of Lucky Charms
You'd look like Venus de Milo
If I just cut off your arms
What I'm tryin' to say is ...

I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love

Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo

Do you believe in love at first sight
Or should I walk by again?
My love for you's like diarrhea
I just can't hold it in

Stop, drop and roll now
'Cause baby, you're on fire
I'll bet your outfit
Makes a lot of noise in the drier

You're absolutely perfect
Don't speak now, you might spoil it
Your eyes are even bluer
Than the water in my toilet

Say, has anyone ever told you
You've got Yugoslavian hands?
No, of course not, that would be stupid
Just forget I ever brought it up
The point I'm trying to make is ...

I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love

Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo
Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo

I wanna be your Krakatoa
Let my lava flow all over you
I wanna be your anaconda
And your heat-seeking missile too

I wanna be your beef burrito
Am I making this perfectly clear?
I wanna be your love torpedo
Are you picking up the subtle innuendo here?
Uh huh

I hope I'm not being forward
But do you mind if I chew on your butt?
You can tell me truthfully
Am I a steamin' hunk of love now, or what?

There just aren't enough o's in "smooth"
To desribe how smooth I am
Maybe you've seen my picture
It's in the dictionary under "Kablaam!"

My lips are registered weapons
Can I invade your personal space?
You must have fallen from heaven
That would explain how you messed up your face

Well, how'd you get through security?
'Cause, baby, you're the bomb
I'd like to take you home right now
So you can meet my mom
Because I ...

I wanna be your lover, baby
I need somebody to love
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby
Now, I need somebody to love

Girl, you must be Jamaican
Because Jamaican me crazy
Girl, you must be Jamaican (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
Because Jamaican me crazy (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)

I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)

I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)

I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)

I wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)
You know I just wanna be your lover, baby (Girl, you must be Jamaican) (Ooh hoo hoo, ooh hoo hoo)
Now, I need somebody to love (Because Jamaican me crazy) (Ooh hoo hoo, hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo)

This post has been edited by Truly: 19 April 2006 - 04:13 AM

[Isillinde]

If I never hear another bad pick up line again it'll be too soon...

[Cybercat]

Oh, pick up lines? I knew I was doing *something* wrong.

[Solar]

I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?

Got a quarter? So I can call my mom and tell her I met (an angel/girl of my dreams)

wanna grab a pizze and go fuck? what? ya don't like pizza?

there was one in another thread on here somewhere it was like "Ya know what Polar bears are good for? to break the ice, Hi i'm Joe"

and the best one ever

Nice Shoes, Wanna Fuck?

[dragonking]

(taken from the man show where they had the man show boy try to pick up chicks at a college campus)


hey wanna take a field trip in my pants

i gunna go take a nap, wanna join me?

....
i can't think of any others

[kachinapinball]

"your eyes are like wrenches, baby, because every time you look at me my nuts tighten"
"your legs are like pi; they go on forever!"
"hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?"

hahahah, oh dear. boys, where did you ever get the notion that these were a good idea?
although i must admit, i talked to the guy who used the first one on me, because i was so flabbergasted that anyone would actually *say* that.

[Gufnork]

That's the whole point of them. It doesn't matter how they do it as long as they get a conversation going. You think we're so stupid we think these actually impress you? Although I must admit that most of these would just get a weird look unless it was a really attractive guy saying them.

[Hebrew]

The Mathematician Chat up Line.

Hello, i'm a mathematician. how about we add me to the equation, minus the clothes, divide you legs and lets multiply!

[Truly]

OH GOD I LOVE THAT CHLOROFORM ONE.

[Claire Tigre]

wanna grab a pizza and go fuck? what? ya don't like pizza?

ive already said id fall for that one, seriously. id say i hated pizza, make it sushi and im there.

one a cops tee shirt

i seem to have lost my virginity, can i have yours?

[kachinapinball]

That's the whole point of them. It doesn't matter how they do it as long as they get a conversation going. You think we're so stupid we think these actually impress you? Although I must admit that most of these would just get a weird look unless it was a really attractive guy saying them.

damnit...you menfolk are getting more clever...i must alert the secret society!
::alerts secret women's conspiracy society::
:-D

[Valdimer]

yes! i know claire's weak spot

[Hebrew]

The Mathematician Chat up Line.

Hello, i'm a mathematician. how about we add me to the equation, minus the clothes, divide you legs and lets multiply!

*ahem*
And another one... "HELP! I need somewhere to hide my penis! Can you help me hide it?"

*prods this post until you notice it*

[Claire Tigre]

yes! i know claire's weak spot

i like that one.. its cute... now youd just have to be able to deal with sushi....

[Valdimer]

shit

back to the drawing board

[deathtoyouall]

What? Sushi is good! And who the *expletive* is Claire?

[Peanut7316]

"hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?"

Dammit, you stole mine! I used that on a friend last night. I had a dinner napkin and went up to her when she was done eating. Got a nice laugh out of it

[Lumberg57]

Let's play house...





I'll be the door, and you can slam me.